Swan Song
by HYPERcm
Summary: And now, he wondered if, had he only listened to his heart, he could have prevented her ever knocking on his office door. sadish H/P fic about lost opportunities. My take on the Emily/JJ leaving suckage.


**Swan Song**

Hotch watched as a letter slipped into his line of sight, and as long, pale fingers followed it.

"You're resigning?" He shot up.

She nodded, a fake smile plastered to her face.

"I don't understand, Prentiss." He lied. For a rare moment, the famous 'Hotchner Wall' came down and a mix of emotions was suddenly evident in his face; two of which Emily recognised as sadness and disappointment, but another that seemed to befuddle herself and her superior.

"Neither do I, really." She reciprocated.

* * *

The last case had been especially hard on the team, they always were. More so, this one affected Emily unlike Agent Hotchner, Rossi, Reid, Morgan or the new liaison, Agent Hart. It left a scar she only peeled back as new ones replaced it.

Young, brunette girls were being abducted and brutally murdered by an unsub in Ohio, who later became known as Christopher Ford, the local high school English teacher. As these revelations came to unfold, Ford had already abducted his fourth victim: Amanda Finley.

Emily was the first on scene, arriving at Ford's country home with Morgan before the rest of the team. Against their Unit Chief's orders, they continued, further deepening themselves in unfamiliar environment. Their unsub had the upper-hand, for they hadn't entered a house, more so a maze, most likely built by the man in question.

Not listening to their instincts, the Agents split up and it was moments later that a gunshot was heard from the direction Prentiss had ventured. Morgan, suddenly doubting his decision, jumped and ran towards to noise.

Entering an old room, on the other side of the maze, the darker Agent fortunately found his partner standing, though standing frigidly with her Glock in hand and pointing straight at him. He looked down to see Ford with a bullet hole skilfully aimed into his skull. Though as he looked further, he wasn't so relieved to find what he assumed to be Amanda Finley - she was barely recognisable in her state - in the same position.

"I watched him." The female Agent's frail voice didn't break the silence, rather it intensified.

"Prentiss, what?" He said, out of breath.

"I watched him…He's laughing… carve her – Her screams… They – Amanda's… I don't kn -"

"Emily!" Morgan caught her just as she fell.

"I don't know why I stopped… I," she didn't know why but she hid her face in her hands, "hesitated…"

* * *

That day hadn't been spoken of since. Emily figured that was Morgan's doing. Obviously everyone knew; how could they not? And it was Garcia who ultimately gave it away when a box of cookies encased in a pink, heart-shaped box appeared on her desk the day after.

But still, she took note to thank him afterwards.

"I'm going to travel." She said finally, "See what little of the world I haven't already." She joked, but neither laughed. If she hadn't known better she would have thought that her superior, former federal prosecutor, was speechless.

On the other side if the bourbon desk, Hotch struggled internally. He wished he could have comforted her. But those same opposing thoughts he felt right now, were the same he had the day Emily Prentiss had broken. And now, he wondered if, had he only listened to his heart, if he could have prevented her ever knocking on his office door.

"Well, I guess I should go beforeGarcia finds me."

"Yes, of course." He reached out his hand, and she took it for the last time, "You will always be welcome here, Prentiss. There's a spot waiting for you if you change your mind."

She smiled, genuinely this time. "Thanks Hotch, for everything."

Walking out of the empty bullpen, pressing the button in the elevator of the FBI, was the last we saw of Emily Prentiss. And as the silence on the short ride to the basement engulfed her, so did a sinking feeling, not that of what you often experience in elevators, but of what she now knew of as regret.

* * *

_What though the radiance which was once so bright_

_be now forever taken from my sight._

_Though nothing can bring back the hour_

_of splendor in the grass,_

_of glory in the flower._

_We will grieve not,_

_rather find strength in what remains behind._

- William Wordsowrth

* * *

A/N: This is my first Criminal Minds fic. I'm not sure how it turned out but lately I've had an urge to write sad stuff and I figured I might as well share it. Reviews would be greatly appreciated :)


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